Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Capitol Steps - You Probably Had to Be There #3 King Tw-t's T-t

We do many MANY shows every year.  Somewhere on the order of 300-500, depending upon the year and whether or not there is an election.  An individual performer may have as many as 9 shows in a week (or as few as none, once again, depending on the year and the season).  This means that performing in any given show can become an exercise in autopilot.  Most of the time this is fine.  The muscle memory kicks in, and the brain takes a 90 minute vacation.  Sometimes I have literally "come to" in the middle of a song and wondered which lyrics had come out of my mouth.  This is when things get dangerous.  You start to think and then you start to screw up.  The mind, oftentimes, is a BAD NEIGHBORHOOD - you should stay out of it.  If the brain has flipped the autopilot switch, it is best to STAY OUT OF YOUR MIND or face dire consequences.  Other times, I have known exactly that I was SUPPOSED to say, and listened in growing horror (or amusement, depending on how I am feeling that day) as not a single thing that my mind is coming up with is making its way out of my mouth.

This is what happened to AJ one day a few years ago.  Fortunately, it happened at the Reagan Building, where we record every show for potential album cuts.  This is one of the benefits of doing so many shows - when there is a truly delicious screw-up, the first thought is usually "Are they recording this??" as opposed to "I really screwed up, wow, I suck" or some other such self-flagellating mental comment.

The song had been dubbed "The Supremes".  It was a parody of Staying Alive about how all the justices on the court were well past their prime.  It is actually a very funny song starring the more liberal justices on the court - Justices Ginsberg, Souter Stevens and Breyer.  It was before the passing of Chief Justice Rehnquist and before Sandra Day O'Conner retired.

The line was "Well they say Renhquist could be King Tut's Twin and Sandra Day knew Ann Boleyn".  A mouthful under any circumstances.  I do not know what was going through her mind.  I wasn't in the show that day.  But I heard about what she said.

"Well they say Rehnquist could be King Twat's Tit and Sandra Day knew Ann Boleyn".

Clear as a bell.  King Twat's tit, ladies and gentlemen, King Twat's tit.

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