Friday, December 31, 2010

Year End Musings

This is me and Lucy in December of last year
What a year!  Last year at this time Lucy was barely 4 months old.  I was chronically sleep deprived and really floundering as I tried to fit into my new role as a mom.  Now Lucy is almost 16 months old, I usually get a full night's sleep (though I often feel tired anyway) and while I am floundering a little less, I still feel like wearing the Mama Hat is still a very intimidating article of clothing to don every day.

February 2010
Lucy started choking on a grape the other day and I didn't know what to do.  The four moms in the room were all looking at Lucy and then looking at me and the first thing I said when I realized she couldn't cough it up on her own was "Oh God, I don't know what to do" and started crying as I grabbed my daughter and managed to do some gross approximation of  the Heimlich Maneuver.  I am still having nightmares about this - Lucy looking at me with  "please help me, Mama" written all over her terrified face, and me not knowing what to do.

March 2010
It sort of slapped me in the face about what my real job is here.  You're up, Mama.  This is your job. You are the EMS, triage, and nurse along with teacher, maid, laundry worker, milk bank, cook, playmate, interpreter and sanitation engineer (read: butt cleaner).  I sort of knew it before.  I really know it now.

May 2010 with adoring Daddy
Regardless of any life-threatening situations, however, I have really grown into being a mom.  I love it.  I love watching Lucy turn into a little person with likes and dislikes and opinions and independent thoughts.  I love watching her discover and learn.  I love watching her learn to communicate more effectively.  She now will say a word she knows, and if I don't understand, she does the sign.  She's just so cool.  The best thing I have ever done.

Silly July baby
Happy birthday, Lucy! September 2010
I love watching Kevin grow into being a dad.  He is so good with her.  So fun and loving and silly and strong and everything you'd want your dad to be.  I love watching him watch Lucy play.  I love him more every day.  Our wedding vows said "I choose you today, as I chose you yesterday and I intend to choose you tomorrow."  I am so incredibly lucky to be able to choose this wonderful man as my husband every day.
Thanksgiving 2010

I sometimes worry about money (who doesn't) and accidentally letting Lucy choke on/fall off of/run into something, but generally speaking, our life is pretty damn good.

So here's to 2010.  It was a really good year.

And here's to 2011 being even better.  Happy New Year everyone!

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