Friday, March 25, 2011

The Power of Belief

My husband is not a religious man.  But he believes in Drano.

This steadfast faith in a thick, toxic, foul smelling liquid completely confounds me.  We have used Drano on every drain in our house at one point or another.  Bottles of the stuff.  Buckets of the stuff.  Extra strength, Super Extra Strength, Professional Strength, Divine Strength.  I believe the crabs in the Chesapeake Bay are dying because of our inability to keep our drains clear.  When the tub was draining slowly, Drano.  The tub still drained slowly.  When the bathroom sink was draining slowly, Drano.  The sink still drained slowly.  Recently, we paid a plumber $500 to come snake two of our drains - this was AFTER the sacred liquid was poured out for our sins of having hair that detaches from our head and putting egg shells down the garbage disposal (which I will NEVER do again, so help me Drano!).

Last weekend, my devout Dranoite was headed away for the weekend to Vermont for work.  Our bathroom sink had been draining very slowly for a few days, and getting worse by the hour.  I am not sure how hair gets down THIS drain (since I don't generally wash my hair in the sink), but if the plumber had snaked this drain, I am sure he would have found hair.  Maybe the sink actually grown its own hair to clog the drains when we are failing at the task.

Anyway, I digress.

The evening before he left, Kevin comes out of our bathroom with an empty bottle of Drano and says, with an air of confident purposefulness "The sink has been Drano-ed."  My gut reaction was to say "Oh, thank GOODNESS!  I'll call the plumber tomorrow."  But I believe in the right of every person to practice their own religion without fear of persecution - not matter how ridiculous I think it is -  and Kevin doesn't mock my faith, so I won't mock his.

Anyway,  that evening I notice that the sink is indeed running a little better.  I think "This is a first!".  Now, this sink isn't running well, mind you, just better than it had been.  But better is better and I forget all about it until the morning when I am washing my face.  Apparently the "better" drainage I noticed the night before applied only to when you had the water running for 3 seconds or less.  Not so much when the water was on for a shocking 15 seconds.  I leave the sink full of water and got in the shower.  And I now the shower is no longer draining.  I am ankle deep in water after 3 or four minutes.  Perhaps the Drano pushed the clog from the sink part of the pipes into the shared shower part of the pipes and was now clogging the shower AND the sink drain.  I roll my eyes and start composing this blog post in my mind, ready to skewer my silly husband for his faith in this stupid, stinky, evil Drano crap.

And then, a miracle.  In the space of about 10 seconds, I hear a loud gurgle and all the water in the sink drains out, and the water in the shower quickly follows suit.  I am agog.  Aghast.  It was like Drano sensed my scorn and doubt and had to prove that Kevin's devoutness was justified.  So while I am not a convert, I have a deeper respect for my husband's abiding faith in the power of Drano.

The sink and the shower have been running like a dream ever since.  I don't believe that I will never shed another hair down the drain, or that our drains will stay clear forever, but I am ready to concede this one to Kevin.  I have often wished Kevin would find comfort in a faith in something bigger than himself and this crazy world we live in.  I had hoped that it would be something more like...say, God or Buddha or Life or the Benevolent Universe.  But if he has found his faith in Drano, so be it.


1 comment:

  1. Ha! I had to laugh at this. My husband is also a Dranoite. Does Kevin jiggle the drain "thing" as if it will magically loosen all the hair?